Building a Strong Family Through Ongoing Efforts for Great Communication:

There is no doubt that communication is key in any relationship, but it is especially important within a family. Like many families, my wife and I have learned a lot through trial and error when it comes to effective communication. While we have made significant progress, we also know there's always room for improvement.

In the early years, our schedules were all over the place. Mine changed constantly, and extra work hours were frequent. This led to a lot of confusion and frustration, especially when it came to planning activities. Technology has been a huge help in this area. Sharing Google Calendars allows us to see each other's commitments and avoid scheduling conflicts.

However, communication goes beyond calendars. Open and honest conversations are essential. We try to make a point of talking regularly throughout the day, using messaging apps like WhatsApp to share updates, photos, and videos. We also have a family group chat on the same platform, allowing us to connect with everyone at once.

Clear communication builds trust, and that is the foundation of a strong family. Arguments can sometimes stem from simple misunderstandings. By talking things through calmly and openly, we can avoid these unnecessary conflicts. This does not mean we always see eye-to-eye, but it allows us to work towards solutions together.

Creating a Safe Space for Communication

There have been times when emotions have run high, and communication broke down. We have learned that sometimes the best course of action is to take a step back and revisit the conversation later when everyone has had a chance to cool down. It is important to create a safe space where everyone feels comfortable sharing their thoughts and feelings without fear of judgment.

Mutual respect is key here. We try to talk about adult matters outside the earshot of our children. When talking to our children, we make sure they know we are there to listen and that we love them unconditionally. Consequences may be necessary, and we make sure they know the consequence is temporary and our love for them is everlasting.

Building Communication Habits

One of the biggest changes we have made over the years is our dinner routine. We used to eat at a counter with bar stools, which did not encourage conversation. Now, after a kitchen remodel, we all sit together at the dining room table. We start with a prayer, then we eat together giving us a chance to connect and talk about the day.

Another communication tool we are looking at implementing is one-on-one interviews with the kids. This would allow for deeper conversations and a chance to address any concerns they might have.

Communication Across Ages

Tailoring your communication style to different ages is important. With our teenager, we are a little more direct and expect more responsibility. Younger children require more explanation, while with our toddler, we use a lot of short phrases, language we know he understands, hand signals and gestures to communicate effectively.  He is a sponge and absorbing all these communication techniques.

Technology can also play a role in communication across ages. Our teenager has a cell phone, and we use apps like WhatsApp to share photos, videos, and messages. It is important to strike a balance, though. We want her to know she can trust us with anything, but we also want to limit excessive phone use.

Communication with Extended Family

Technology has been a game-changer when it comes to staying in touch with extended family, especially those living abroad. Gone are the days of expensive phone bills. Now, with international calls included in many plans and internet-based communication tools like WhatsApp and Zoom, staying connected is easier and more affordable. We use WhatsApp for family group chats where we share photos, videos, and important updates. This is especially important for our family, as we have loved ones in Mexico.

Building a Culture of Communication

While we do not have many formal "family time" activities planned, we do enforce time limits on electronics in our house. This helps encourage face-to-face interaction and conversation.

We also try to model good communication skills for our children. This means being mindful of how we talk to each other and involving them in making plans, teaching them the importance of clear communication.

Celebrating successes in communication is not something we formally do, but the reward is clear: a loving environment at home, strong relationships, and fewer conflicts. We do, however, praise our children for honesty and open communication, especially when they share difficult information.

Open Communication: A Journey, Not a Destination

There are no hard and fast rules when it comes to communication. It takes work and ongoing effort. We are constantly learning and adapting as our family grows and changes.

Here are some goals we have for the future to continue growing and bettering our family communication:

• More Family Activities: Implement regular family game nights, movie nights, or even outings to the park.
• One-on-One Time: Schedule regular one-on-one interviews with each child to discuss their feelings and concerns.
• Visualization Tools: Explore communication flowcharts or emotion charts to help younger children understand communication concepts.
• Reduce Electronics Reliance: Continue to limit, monitor, and educate about screen time and electronic usage, encouraging alternative ways to connect and communicate.

Effective family communication is an ongoing journey, not a destination. By creating a safe space for open and honest conversations, we can build strong and lasting relationships with our loved ones.

What are some ways you foster communication in your family? Share your experiences and tips in the comments below!